Introduction to Online Play: Texting

Originally published July 23, 2020. Updated to reflect my current policies on December 10, 2020.

This post is an excerpt from my blog, Introduction to Online Play, which focuses on the differences between 4 types of online play: texting, phone calls, cam sessions, and custom clips. For brevity's sake, I've broken up the original blog into 4 smaller posts, each of which focuses on a separate virtual play format. You'll find the information on texting after the informative introductory paragraphs below.

Introduction to Online Play

As everyday life continues to become more and more digitalized, many kinksters and fetishists have found themselves drawn to online play. Virtual domination is near and dear to my heart: it's how I got my start as a professional Dominatrix, after all! I've been a dirty little online pervert since January 2011 and virtual domination continues to be a priority of mine no matter how busy I stay at the dungeon.

With so many options for online play, it can be a bit overwhelming if you're trying to decide which format is the best fit for you. Whether you're looking for a casual way to explore your newfound interest in BDSM or you're a seasoned player making the transition from dungeon to screen thanks to COVID-19, it's important to know the differences between virtual play formats. This blog series focuses on 4 popular forms of play: texting, phone calls, cam sessions, and custom clips. This post is about texting.

Before I get to the fun stuff, I need to discuss online privacy and discretion. Many of you have concerns related to virtual domination, especially when it comes to nonconsensual online exposure and exploitation. That's completely understandable! A quick browse through kinky Twitter shows established Dominants casually posting incriminating photos and videos of folks alongside the subject's detailed personal information. It's important to remember that much like a lot of things on the Internet, you can't always take these posts at face value.

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Los Angeles, Dec. 2019.

When you see a post like that on my social media accounts, know that the post itself was always negotiated ahead of time. These men and women being "exposed" aren't actually being exposed in the true sense of the word and instead, simply have an exposure fetish. They get off on others knowing about their kinks, so not only did they give me permission to post that information (and in fact, tell me which photos to use!), but they also paid me enough to care about doing so in the first place. If you're not paying me handsomely to go out of my way for you, I'm not interested.

Remember that as a professional Dominatrix, my livelihood relies heavily upon mutual discretion and consent. There's a huge ethical difference between consensually indulging someone's exposure fetish and straight-up blackmail. One of these options will keep my reputation intact, while the other is very illegal and would land me in jail, not to mention ruin my career and almost 10 years of hard work. So, uh, that's a hard limit for me, thanks.

I'm a popular Dominatrix and my schedule is packed: in addition to taking sessions at my dungeon (pandemic permitting, of course!), I film clips, take phone calls, play via text, host cam sessions, sell fetish items, and own a sissy-themed retail business. This doesn't even cover the amount of work I put in behind the scenes: photo shoots, keeping up with social media, spending hours perfecting blog posts and monthly newsletters, etc. With that in mind, when it comes to consensual exposure versus very illegal blackmail, which option do you think I'll choose, every damn time?

Feeling better? Great! Let's move on...

Before you jump into the world of online domination, it's important to know how to talk about your interests and expectations as openly and honestly as possible. Much like a live session at the dungeon, the more I know about you before we start playing, the better I'll be able to personalize your experience. At the dungeon, I'm able to read your body language to determine how much further to safely push you or how excited you are about a new activity. I don't have that luxury with virtual domination, so good communication on your end is vital for both of us. I can't truly humiliate you if you can't express what you find humiliating!

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Austin, July 2019.

Knowing how to properly communicate during online play is especially important if you're working with time or budgetary constraints. If you only have 10 minutes to talk on the phone, for example, I can easily spend the first 5 playing guessing games if you're not comfortable telling me bluntly that you're calling because you want to be my panty-wearing, cock-sucking, cum-guzzling sissy slut.

It's also important to remember that some play formats may not be a good fit for you: after texting for a few days, you may realize you prefer phone calls, for example. You may also realize that you and I aren't a good match: maybe our availability doesn't align often enough for your needs, you simply don't like my play style, or the experience you're looking for with me is out of your budget. I'm not for everyone, and that's okay! It's important to keep exploring.


Texting is, without a doubt, my favorite form of online play. I love texting for a number of reasons: not only is it convenient and discreet, but it also allows us to share photos and videos with each other. Aside from the occasional video, our interactions are mostly text-based, which make it a great option for those of you who express yourselves better through writing or who don't always have the privacy necessary for a phone call or cam session.

I prefer to text through SextPanther, which also allows for phone calls. After signing up, there's no app to install or browser to load: texts from your phone come directly to mine and vice versa though a masked number for our mutual privacy. For those of you with privacy concerns, this means that I have no way of tracing your real number or learning any of your personal information unless you choose to share it with me. My number is always the same, so you can save it to your phone as a contact for easy access.

On SextPanther, you're charged per text, photo, and video you send me, as well as per photo and video of mine that you open. Phone calls are charged per minute. If you're worried about discretion on your billing statement, you can load your SextPanther account with credits using popular gift cards like Amazon and Starbucks. I think that's pretty damn cool, and I don't know of another platform that offers that option.

For those of you who prefer text sessions on other platforms, I offer texting packages on a few vanilla texting apps, though I don't offer sessions via DM on social media. My rates for private text sessions range from $50-300 per hour, with prices dependent on my response time. Payment is due in full up front, and I request additional tribute for to send or receive photos, videos, or audio messages. This can turn into a bit of a nuisance if we're in the middle of a hot and heavy scene, so for those reasons, I recommend using SextPanther instead as those other charges are already seamlessly built into its platform.

I love texting because of the flexibility. I can torment you no matter what I'm doing, which means we can play any time, anywhere. I've sent out kinky instructions while in line at the grocery store, while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, and on dreadfully boring first dates. The ability to send each other pictures and videos is another benefit: I can send you photo after photo of my bare feet, for example, and you can send a picture of your strained, leaking chastity cage from the bathroom at work.

It's not mandatory to send me photos and videos of your own, of course, but it certainly makes playtime more enjoyable for me! I much prefer dishing out orders to someone eager to prove they're actually following my instructions... I am a Dominatrix, after all. I completely understand that some of you may be too nervous to share photos and videos with me, especially if you're new to kink or online play. However, I quickly lose interest in our playtime if I tell you to do something and you refuse to prove you've obeyed. With that in mind, a phone call may be a better option for you if you're not quite ready to share this side of yourself with me.

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Austin, July 2019.

If you'd like to share proof but are concerned about your privacy, you can always get creative: crop the image appropriately, wear sunglasses and a hat, use a weird Snapchat filter, take your photos at an angle, dust off your trusty ol' gimp mask, or use an app to doodle all over your face and visible tattoos. There are plenty of ways to enjoy the thrill of sharing your naughty exploits with me while also maintaining your anonymity.

I care about your privacy in more ways than one. Because I know that not everyone has the freedom to text about kink whenever they want, I usually won't start a conversation with you if I haven't heard from you in awhile, even if we have an established D/s dynamic. I'll occasionally send a mass text to all of my contacts at once, but that's about as far as I go when it comes to initiating contact on my own. This doesn't mean I'm not having fun with you or that I've forgotten about you: it's simply my way of respecting your boundaries. Some of you may live with partners who don't know about your kinks, and I don't want an unexpected text from yours truly to force you into having a difficult conversation you're not ready for.

Some of you enjoy the thrill that comes with knowing I'm thinking about you even though we haven't texted in a few hours. If it's important for you to be surprised with random texts throughout the day, tell me upfront. If you tell me and it seems like I've forgotten, remind me! I love sending unexpected texts throughout the day, especially if they're sexy selfies meant to torment you while in chastity.

Finally, when it comes to texting, please remember that even though I try to respond as promptly as possible, I don't actually stay buried on my phone all day. Sometimes, it may take me a few hours to respond: maybe you caught me in the middle of a session at the dungeon, maybe I'm working hard on a project that requires my full attention, or maybe I'm simply away from my phone at the moment. I'm merely human, after all, with a life that exists offline, too. With that in mind, if you're ready to play and want to guarantee you have my full attention for as long as you'd like, I suggest calling me instead.

Ready for more?

Click here for the full blog. Additional individualized posts may be found here:

Phone Calls

Cam Sessions

Custom Clips