Introduction to Online Play

Originally published July 23, 2020. Updated to reflect my current policies on December 10, 2020.

As everyday life continues to become more and more digitalized, many kinksters and fetishists have found themselves drawn to online play. Virtual domination is near and dear to my heart: it's how I got my start as a professional Dominatrix, after all! I've been a dirty little online pervert since January 2011 and virtual domination continues to be a priority of mine no matter how busy I stay at the dungeon.

With so many options for online play, it can be a bit overwhelming if you're trying to decide which format is the best fit for you. Whether you're looking for a casual way to explore your newfound interest in BDSM or you're a seasoned player making the transition from dungeon to screen thanks to COVID-19, it's important to know the differences between virtual play formats. This blog post focuses on 4 popular forms of play: texting, phone calls, cam sessions, and custom clips.

Before I get to the fun stuff, I need to discuss online privacy and discretion. Many of you have concerns related to virtual domination, especially when it comes to nonconsensual online exposure and exploitation. That's completely understandable! A quick browse through kinky Twitter shows established Dominants casually posting incriminating photos and videos of folks alongside the subject's detailed personal information. It's important to remember that much like a lot of things on the Internet, you can't always take these posts at face value.

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Los Angeles, Dec. 2019.

When you see a post like that on my social media accounts, know that the post itself was always negotiated ahead of time. These men and women being "exposed" aren't actually being exposed in the true sense of the word and instead, simply have an exposure fetish. They get off on others knowing about their kinks, so not only did they give me permission to post that information (and in fact, tell me which photos to use!), but they also paid me enough to care about doing so in the first place. If you're not paying me handsomely to go out of my way for you, I'm not interested.

Remember that as a professional Dominatrix, my livelihood relies heavily upon mutual discretion and consent. There's a huge ethical difference between consensually indulging someone's exposure fetish and straight-up blackmail. One of these options will keep my reputation intact, while the other is very illegal and would land me in jail, not to mention ruin my career and almost 10 years of hard work. So, uh, that's a hard limit for me, thanks.

I'm a popular Dominatrix and my schedule is packed: in addition to taking sessions at my dungeon (pandemic permitting, of course!), I film clips, take phone calls, play via text, host cam sessions, sell fetish items, and own a sissy-themed retail business. This doesn't even cover the amount of work I put in behind the scenes: photo shoots, keeping up with social media, spending hours perfecting blog posts and monthly newsletters, etc. With that in mind, when it comes to consensual exposure versus very illegal blackmail, which option do you think I'll choose, every damn time?

Feeling better? Great! Let's move on...

Before you jump into the world of online domination, it's important to know how to talk about your interests and expectations as openly and honestly as possible. Much like a live session at the dungeon, the more I know about you before we start playing, the better I'll be able to personalize your experience. At the dungeon, I'm able to read your body language to determine how much further to safely push you or how excited you are about a new activity. I don't have that luxury with virtual domination, so good communication on your end is vital for both of us. I can't truly humiliate you if you can't express what you find humiliating!

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Austin, July 2019.

Knowing how to properly communicate during online play is especially important if you're working with time or budgetary constraints. If you only have 10 minutes to talk on the phone, for example, I can easily spend the first 5 playing guessing games if you're not comfortable telling me bluntly that you're calling because you want to be my panty-wearing, cock-sucking, cum-guzzling sissy slut.

It's also important to remember that some play formats may not be a good fit for you: after texting for a few days, you may realize you prefer phone calls, for example. You may also realize that you and I aren't a good match: maybe our availability doesn't align often enough for your needs, you simply don't like my play style, or the experience you're looking for with me is out of your budget. I'm not for everyone, and that's okay! It's important to keep exploring.

This blog is a bit long, and there's a lot of information to process. For brevity's sake, I've also broken this blog up into 4 smaller posts, each of which includes this introduction and focuses on an individual play format. If you'd like to skip ahead, you can find the individual posts here:


Phone Calls

Cam Sessions

Custom Clips


Texting is, without a doubt, my favorite form of online play. I love texting for a number of reasons: not only is it convenient and discreet, but it also allows us to share photos and videos with each other. Aside from the occasional video, our interactions are mostly text-based, which make it a great option for those of you who express yourselves better through writing or who don't always have the privacy necessary for a phone call or cam session.

I prefer to text through SextPanther, which also allows for phone calls. After signing up, there's no app to install or browser to load: texts from your phone come directly to mine and vice versa though a masked number for our mutual privacy. For those of you with privacy concerns, this means that I have no way of tracing your real number or learning any of your personal information unless you choose to share it with me. My number is always the same, so you can save it to your phone as a contact for easy access.

On SextPanther, you're charged per text, photo, and video you send me, as well as per photo and video of mine that you open. Phone calls are charged per minute. If you're worried about discretion on your billing statement, you can load your SextPanther account with credits using popular gift cards like Amazon and Starbucks. I think that's pretty damn cool, and I don't know of another platform that offers that option.

For those of you who prefer text sessions on other platforms, I offer texting packages on a few vanilla texting apps, though I don't offer sessions via DM on social media. My rates for private text sessions range from $50-300 per hour, with prices dependent on my response time. Payment is due in full up front, and I request additional tribute for to send or receive photos, videos, or audio messages. This can turn into a bit of a nuisance if we're in the middle of a hot and heavy scene, so for those reasons, I recommend using SextPanther instead as those other charges are already seamlessly built into its platform.

I love texting because of the flexibility. I can torment you no matter what I'm doing, which means we can play any time, anywhere. I've sent out kinky instructions while in line at the grocery store, while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, and on dreadfully boring first dates. The ability to send each other pictures and videos is another benefit: I can send you photo after photo of my bare feet, for example, and you can send a picture of your strained, leaking chastity cage from the bathroom at work.

It's not mandatory to send me photos and videos of your own, of course, but it certainly makes playtime more enjoyable for me! I much prefer dishing out orders to someone eager to prove they're actually following my instructions... I am a Dominatrix, after all. I completely understand that some of you may be too nervous to share photos and videos with me, especially if you're new to kink or online play. However, I quickly lose interest in our playtime if I tell you to do something and you refuse to prove you've obeyed. With that in mind, a phone call may be a better option for you if you're not quite ready to share this side of yourself with me.

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Austin, July 2019.

If you'd like to share proof but are concerned about your privacy, you can always get creative: crop the image appropriately, wear sunglasses and a hat, use a weird Snapchat filter, take your photos at an angle, dust off your trusty ol' gimp mask, or use an app to doodle all over your face and visible tattoos. There are plenty of ways to enjoy the thrill of sharing your naughty exploits with me while also maintaining your anonymity.

I care about your privacy in more ways than one. Because I know that not everyone has the freedom to text about kink whenever they want, I usually won't start a conversation with you if I haven't heard from you in awhile, even if we have an established D/s dynamic. I'll occasionally send a mass text to all of my contacts at once, but that's about as far as I go when it comes to initiating contact on my own. This doesn't mean I'm not having fun with you or that I've forgotten about you: it's simply my way of respecting your boundaries. Some of you may live with partners who don't know about your kinks, and I don't want an unexpected text from yours truly to force you into having a difficult conversation you're not ready for.

Some of you enjoy the thrill that comes with knowing I'm thinking about you even though we haven't texted in a few hours. If it's important for you to be surprised with random texts throughout the day, tell me upfront. If you tell me and it seems like I've forgotten, remind me! I love sending unexpected texts throughout the day, especially if they're sexy selfies meant to torment you while in chastity.

Finally, when it comes to texting, please remember that even though I try to respond as promptly as possible, I don't actually stay buried on my phone all day. Sometimes, it may take me a few hours to respond: maybe you caught me in the middle of a session at the dungeon, maybe I'm working hard on a project that requires my full attention, or maybe I'm simply away from my phone at the moment. I'm merely human, after all, with a life that exists offline, too. With that in mind, if you're ready to play and want to guarantee you have my full attention for as long as you'd like, I suggest calling me instead.

Phone Calls

As much as I love texting, it isn't the right fit for everyone. Many folks prefer phone domination as, among other things, it guarantees my full attention: since we're having a live conversation, there's no need to question if I'm fully available or if I'll respond promptly enough for your liking. Phone calls also allow you to hear my voice... and my distinctive cackle if I'm laughing at you!

While I take calls on SextPanther and, more rarely, IWantPhone, most of my phone domination traffic comes from NiteFlirt. Many callers prefer NiteFlirt because it's been around for years and has earned a reputation as a safe, reliable platform. Calls are charged per minute and I have different lines (and rates!) for different purposes: general domination, erotic hypnosis, financial domination, etc. This variety allows you to pick which line is best aligned with your interests.

Much like texting on SextPanther, your calls from NiteFlirt come to me from a private number, which keeps your personal information completely anonymous. For those of you worried about discretion, there's no way for me to learn anything about your private life unless you choose to tell me... and even then, if you slip up and tell me something a little too personal, I have no incentive to do anything with it unless you're paying me enough to care.

In addition to being a popular destination for kinky and vanilla calls alike, NiteFlirt has a Chat feature, a store for clips and audio files, and Pay-To-View messaging abilities. If you'd like to explore what I offer on NiteFlirt, click here.

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Los Angeles, Dec. 2019.

A downside to phone domination is my somewhat unpredictable schedule. With texting, you can reach out to me at any time, but with phone calls you have to wait until I'm actively available. While I try to log on to NiteFlirt every day, it doesn't always happen: sometimes life gets in the way. That said, I'm most often available for calls during the day and early evening, usually from 10 AM - 8 PM CST, and my lines are usually off later at night. This is the case for both weekdays and weekends.

Sometimes I post about my availability on social media, but if you'd like to call me, your best bet is to visit to see if my listings show I'm currently taking calls. If we're chatting on SextPanther and you'd like to call, shoot me a text to confirm I'm available first: sometimes, I'm only available for texting.

Please note that while I occasionally utilize NiteFlirt's Chat feature, it's not my favorite. Not only does it not send messages directly to my phone, but it also doesn't allow me to set my own rates. If you'd like to play by text, I recommend contacting me via instead.

Cam Sessions

At this point, cam sessions are probably the closest option to a session at my dungeon: in addition to guaranteeing you have my undivided attention, we both get to see each other at the same time, albeit on our respective screens. You get to see my genuine reactions play out in real time and I get to watch you follow my instructions. Of course, being told to spank yourself isn't quite the same as having me spank you in person, but webcam makes it a much more personal experience than just dishing out those same instructions via text.

I'm usually available for cam every day from 10 AM - 8 PM CST, though I'm open to sessions outside my set hours. I prefer sessions to be scheduled at least 24 hours in advance, though I'm sometimes able to accommodate same-day requests. Currently, I cam from both my home as well as the dungeon. If you have a special request for an outfit, prop, or setting, accommodating your request may require some extra prep time. If some of these things are vital for your experience, keep this in mind when requesting your appointment with me-- especially if it's a same-day session!

Cam sessions are scheduled with me directly, starting at $5 per minute with a 20-minute minimum. I require a nonrefundable 50% deposit to secure your booking with the remaining 50% due no less than 2 hours before our scheduled appointment. Though I hope to soon branch out to camming on popular mainstream camming platforms, for now I cam on a popular vanilla videoconference app. My username may be purchased for $15 via,, and my OnlyFans (here or here). After purchasing my username, add me and I'll send you my booking protocol.

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Austin, July 2019.

If you're new to webcam play or used to shorter cam sessions with others, 20 minutes may seem like a long time to book. On my end, I'm used to sessions at the dungeon lasting at least 2 or 3 hours: comparatively, 20 minutes is nothing! Please remember that much like a session at the dungeon, when you book cam time me, you're booking a block of my time. My 20-minute minimum doesn't equate to 20 minutes of play: instead, it gives us time to account for any tardiness on your part, negotiations prior to play, the actual play itself, and a bit of aftercare at the end if necessary.

If you're new to webcam play, you may also have concerns about privacy. As I mentioned above in the Introduction section, my job relies heavily on our mutual discretion and consent. I have no desire to risk almost 10 years of hard work over half an hour of play. If you're still concerned about remaining anonymous, the beauty of webcam sessions is that they allow for endless creativity: among other things, you can keep your cam angled so that your face is just out of frame, wear sunglasses and a mask, disguise your voice by speaking in a different pitch, or wear clothing that hides identifying features and tattoos.

Custom Clips

While custom clips aren't quite as interactive as other forms of online play like phone calls or cam sessions, they're another popular way of experiencing my dominance in a virtual setting. Though clips don't necessarily allow for the spontaneous back-and-forth between us found in other forms of play, they're the only option that provides you with a polished product you can enjoy at your convenience over and over again.

Custom clips are a great option for a number of reasons. They're perfect for those of you who prefer a visual experience and know exactly what you like and want to see. They're also great for folks who may not have the time required for phone calls or cam sessions: if you have a hectic work schedule or personal life, it may make more sense to commission a clip to watch at your leisure rather than try to arrange something that depends on two busy people having mutual availability. For those of you with privacy concerns, custom clips are the most discreet way to play with me in a virtual setting. There's no third-party billing history to hide and the finished product is sent directly to your email address.

Out of all my options for online play, custom clips require the most of my time. It takes me hours (yes, plural!) to prepare for filming: in addition to doing my hair, nails, and makeup, I have to stage my background, set up my lights, etc. Filming itself usually takes much longer than planned due to camera angle changes and unexpected interruptions that mess with the background noise, like a barking dog next door or a plane flying overhead. After that, it takes a few hours to edit the clip thanks to tasks like color correction, video transitions, and special effects... and that's before I even export the file!

Photo by Alexandra Kacha. Austin, July 2019.

My clips are filmed in vibrant HD, with 4K footage also an option. While I have a $150 base rate for custom clips, the final price is dependent on a few factors, such as the subject matter, the complexity of certain props and wardrobe, special requests for personalization, and so on. Unless otherwise negotiated, this price will result in a clip that's roughly 7-10 minutes long. Payment is due in full upfront and I typically have a 2-3 week turnaround time.

Depending on the nature of your clip, it's likely I'll resell an edited version in my clip stores, though you're welcome to pay a little extra for exclusivity if you'd like your fantasy to remain for your eyes only. While your input is vital (it's a custom clip, after all!), I don't enjoy filming heavily scripted customs as they tend to stifle my natural creativity.

A quick glance at my content library on my members site or OnlyFans shows plenty of clips shot with a variety of Dominants and submissives. When contacting me about a custom clip, it's important to note that I don't always have access to filming partners, and the ones I do have access to may not be willing to play out your idea. This is especially true right now thanks to COVID! I'm always happy to discuss your ideas with you, but the only participant I can ever truly guarantee for a clip is myself.

If you'd like to contact me about a custom clip, I recommend texting me on SextPanther or calling me on NiteFlirt to get the ball rolling. Clip making is a labor of love, and contacting me on one of these paid platforms shows you see me as a professional and value my time.